[RP] A Crisis of Insulin

I’m surprised at how much blogging got done last month, all things considered. Special thanks goes out to all my flash fic subbers, who were so kind as to provide me with guest post material in the name of fun writing challenges. It makes me want to open up another challenge soon! Feel free to post comments with ideas or oh-god-please-no-mores.

My first day post-NaNo saw me back to no good on 750words.com. It’s nice to do a little stream-of consciousness writing as a change of pace. I also have some ongoing projects that need work. Like what, you might ask? Let’s see: Odd blood elf priest counsels a troubled paladin; Ambika completes her penance with Zana’zua’s help; Veldarin the mage eats his Wheaties and becomes The Predicament, a might warrior. Yonah completes Brooms, primer one, and her jelly jar sees Frederick #2391. Thiyenn elopes with a turnip farmer only to return to Stormwind after the Sundering with the horrible certainty that she is Bad Luck to any man she touches.

There are more, I’m sure--let’s not even talk about Ysani, because that whole situation is a can of worms I don’t know if I’m ready to deal with yet--but you get the idea. I have a lot of writing to do.

I have an awesome surprise for the culminating post of The Tree, but it will take a wee bit longer to finish. Please enjoy this little fluffy filler-post in the meantime.

Authors: Me & Hammy(Fenn)

_____________________________________________________

With the huge linen sack slung over her shoulder and her cheeks red as roses, Ysani looked like the world’s most giddy Greatfather Winter. She smelled like it, too; the scent of cinnamon and cloves wafted off of her like a bakery in full holiday swing.

“You’re not gonna believe this,” she said when he opened the door, not wasting her breath on silly things like ‘hello’ or ‘how are you’. Plop went the sack onto the floor.

“He was going to throw them out! I don’t even.” Her pale fingers rapidly untied the cord that held the bag shut as she talked a mile a minute. “I’ve been hoarding them all rather than chuck them out and he’s still baking but they’re so good Fenn you just don’t know.”

She yanked open the bag. A heap of golden muffins dotted with the red marks of crushed hot cinnamon candy and covered in veritable drifts of cinnamon-sugar threatened to tumble out onto the rug. She rescued one from toppling over the edge and practically shoved it in Fenniel’s face. “Eat!”

Fenn sniffed the muffin for a moment before tenderly taking it from Ysani’s hand, shoving about half of it into his mouth. A blissful expression spread over his face as he chewed. “Thff if amayhin.”

“I KNOW.” She crammed one in her mouth and chewed, savoring the crunch of undissolved and buttery sugar. “Let’sh go get shider,” she said around a mouthful of crumbs, and closed the bag up once more, hoisting it up over her shoulder.

Fenn shoved the other half of the muffin into his mouth, a few crumbs spilling out as his cheeks filled up like a chipmunk. “Mmhmm.”

In the Legerdemain, they ate one delicious baked good after another, washing down every other bite with spicy mulled cider that was just making its seasonal debut. Waitstaff and barkeep alike watched with growing amusement, then alarm as the bag of muffins deflated and the pair just kept on shoveling it in.

At some point, Ysani’s enthusiasm for crumbly, cinnamon-candied sweets began to wane.

“Urmph,” she said to no one in particular, as she waved away the server who’d come to refill their cider mugs for the umpteenth time. “I think imma be... imma be sick.”

Fenn stopped mid-bite to look at Ysani. “Are you okay?”

An enormous belch was her only answer, and it appeared to make her feel slightly better. If nothing else, she was less green.

“Uh. I’ll be fine.”

She pushed away the unconquerable half-eaten muffin and Fenniel eyed it. “Are you gonna eat that..?”

“Go for it.”

She ordered a glass of cold water and sipped at it while he worked his way through the last half-dozen candy-studded confections. He didn’t even appear to be slowing down, and that was pretty fascinating to the redheaded girl. Such fortitude! Surely she should strive for such staggering stamina. When the last crumb was gone and he licked his fingers for the last glittering bits of crystalline sweetness, she smiled.

“Let’s go outside, I could use some fresh air.”

Fenniel nodded in agreement. “I’m kind of full.”

They sprawled out on the grass under the enormous statue of Antonidas and watched the stars slowly appear in the evening sky, eyes glazed, groaning periodically as their distended bellies gurgled various complaints against the evils of excess.

“Fenn,” slurred Ysani.

“Hm?”

“I just realized I’m gonna have to taste-test more muffins when I get home.”

They both stared up at the sky. It was impossible for a casual observer to tell whether they lay there in companionable silence or in a state of metabolic shock. Regardless, no one fetched a medic and they were allowed to rest undisturbed.

Back at the chapter house, Keilos baked.

Flash Fic Party, Day 11: Oh, Dir

Today's guest writer is Dissonant, writing a short 'n sweet story for Dir. That boy has a lot of unresolved issues to be messing with someone as capricious as Ysani. I feel bad for him.

There are only a few guest posts left. I hope you’re enjoying them; it’s been fun for me to see everyone flex their writing muscles. Be sure to let the guest writers know what you think in the comments!

I’m keeping this intro short, to save my brains. Why? They’re f-r-i-e-d, FRIED. But the good news is, my NaNo novel’s now well over 13,000 words long. That’s about 50 standard book pages! Now... I just have to do that ~4 more times. Huuuuurk.

Author: Dissonant/Dir
Word count: 212
_________________________________________

He had nothing to offer her but a sordid past and ugly truths. Still, he whispered it in her ear.

“Stay.”

She turned her lips to his and he could taste the sweetness of the candy she’d eaten just a short time before. The golden light of afternoon shone like fire in her hair.

He knew why she was here, why she kept coming back. He was the forbidden and the dark, wrapped in a glamorous package. He was blissful retreat and erotic delight. She could stretch out and be her in some endless now, unburdened with future expectation. Hard lesson had taught him that only a fool could ever expect more. It didn’t stop him.

When their sweat mingled and their eyes glazed, when she would agree to anything he said as long as he spun out this wild pleasure just a moment more, he could not help but ask again.

“Stay.”

His answer came in the silent, empty dusk. She had dressed in a hurry, a regretful kiss lingering on their lips. She had returned to the man who had her heart and the life she had built, leaving only candy wrappers on the nightstand and her scent on the sheets to show she had ever been in his room.

[RP] Is it Hot in Here or is it Just You [barely PG]

Here's another collaboration with Hammy, the creator of Fenniel/Zana'zua/Hammaryn. We really like to write silly stories together (Captain Obvious here, I know) and for some reason I forgot to post this back when we wrote it for a challenge this summer.

Don't forget, there's only about a week left to write your flash fic for the party!

Authors: Me & Hammy

______________________________________________

Ysani skipped through the troll ruins of Tanaris. Pausing for a moment, she looked back over her shoulder. "Fenn? Are you coming?"

Fenniel was sure he was miles behind Ysani, or perhaps it was just the waves of heat rising up through the sand. His long brown hair was plastered to his neck and he dripped sweat as he trudged along, desperately trying to keep up with the sprightly blood knight. As if to add insult to injury, he'd even been forced to wear shoes, lest he burn his feet walking.

Ysani didn't seem to be suffering in the slightest. With her hair pulled back in a ponytail, she jogged lightly over the sand from ruin to ruin, digging along the stones for shards of pottery. Sure, she was sweating, but on her it was more of a... a glow, almost. Her light linen shirt was almost completely dry, a bit of moisture just beginning to peek through along her spine, and overall she looked way more chipper than she had any right to be in the wilting heat.

His shirt was stuck to him; the linen clung to his torso from the sweat dripping down his back. Fenn looked down, grabbing the bottom of his shirt to untuck it. The sweat-cling seemed to be nicely outlining his flabby tummy. He groaned. "Just a second," he called back.

"Fenn! I think I found something!" Her voice carried over what seemed like endless desert, dunes rearing up in all directions and punctuated in the valleys by heaps of crumbling troll architecture. The air shimmered with heat and made the distance between them seem even longer. At least the wind had died down. Ysani had begged him to wait just a little longer, hoping that it wouldn't become a storm and ruin their excavation trip. Luckily for her, it was just a passing breeze.

Fenniel forced himself to pick up his pace towards the ruins, digging his feet into the sand. "I'm..." he wheezed in a giant breath, "almost there."

Ysani beckoned him over as he closed in, slowly, on her position. She stood up and wiped her forehead with a bare forearm, gingerly holding a curved hunk of pottery in her gloved hands. Her shirt was tailored to hug her curves and her assets were all too apparent as she turned toward him with a grin and called out, "Found some!"

Fenniel took his glasses off, wiping his forehead from the sweat that was dripping into his eyes. "That piece could work." He shoved his glasses back onto his nose, and his eyes went from relaxed to dinner plate size as the pottery and her... assets... came into focus. "Ysani." He clamped a hand over his face. "You...your..."

"You have to see this! I've never seen anything like it." Ysani moved in close to her friend, examining the heavy ceramic chunk as she turned it over in her hands. "There aren't even any hairline fractures, it just cracked in one piece where a stone fell on it. It's pretty incredible, and dense too." She seemed utterly oblivious to Fenniel's discomfort.

"Ysani...you just...your shirt..." he turned a vivid shade of red.

"It even feels cool to the touch after having been just two inches under the sand, and it is HOT down there!" She grabbed his wrist and put his hand on the smooth pottery. It was downright cold. "This is so amazing! I wonder how they managed it in such a primitive culture? We need to find more of this, there's just so much we can do with material like this. Imagine what kind of insulation you could make, you could keep engines from overheating 'till doomsday--"

Fenniel teetered a bit and lowered his hand from his eyes. "Ysani, I kinda um...I kinda..." He fell over unconscious, plumes of sand flying up as he hit the ground with a solid THUD.

"Oh, Light..." Ysani dropped the relic. The impact sent more sand flying over Fenniel's prone, sweaty body, but the piece stayed miraculously intact. "Fenn, you're supposed to stay hydrated! Oh dear, oh dear..." She unhitched her belt and slid a full canteen off of it, kneeling over the victim as she poured some of the shockingly cold water over his forehead and neck. Luckily, she was somewhat trained to deal with heatstroke, and once she'd given him a bit of water she hooked her arms under his armpits (LIGHT is he sweaty!) and began to drag him toward the meager shade of a partially exhumed stone wall.

Fenniel's eyes fluttered open as Ysani drug him through the sand. "S'okay..." he mumbled semi-coherently. "I always wanted a waterbed." He smiled contentedly up at her.

Ysani grunted as she dragged him along. He was heavier than he looked, and she was really starting to sweat. By the time she finished propping him up in the shade, her clothes were completely soaked through. "Are you okay, Fenn?"

Fenniel pushed himself up to sitting with his arms, nearly falling over again. He blinked at Ysani, rubbed at his eyes, and blushed again. "There's um..." He took a deep breath. "I think I'm fine. It's just uh kinda hot and your um...there's something with your..."

Ysani looked down. Her shirt was clinging scandalously to her entire torso, almost sheer in places with moisture. She turned bright red and stood up quickly, crossing her arms over her chest to hide her fairly apparent nipples. "...Oh."

Fenniel averted his eyes to the sand. "Yeah."

"Well... well HEY! How about this ceramic?" Ysani turned her back to Fenniel and dug around in her knapsack for the spare shirt she'd brought along with her. It was one of Kei's button-down shirts, plain but light and comfortable. She wriggled into it and tied it at the waist, making sure it covered her... er... chest... area.

"Can I look yet," he mumbled.

"Y-yeah," she said, clearing her throat and ducking behind the wall for a moment to fetch the pottery scrap. When she returned, she sat next to him with her back to the wall, leaving a good buffer of empty space between them.

He glanced over, making sure it was safe, then smiled sheepishly. "Sorry I fell over. The ceramic is neat; we should probably bring it back to Dalaran to study."

"We'll dig a little bit before we go and see if we can't get a few more samples." Ysani paused, then looked over at Fenn. "And... let's never speak of this again. Okay?"

He nodded. "I...uhh...think that's for the best." He grabbed the collar of his shirt and shook it. "Let's get this over with fast, it's way too hot out here."

Dysfunction, Dinner & Doodles [Lots of images!]

Today's been a very rainy, very slow and somewhat productive day. Usually Sundays just kinda tear by but this one was rather comfortable without feeling lazy.

I decide first of all to put on some music, then clean the living room. En route to the couch, I notice all the couch pillows are on the floor. It seems the Ethan-monster chucked them off so he could use the couch as a weekend bed. When I pick up his blanket I notice it smells rather funky and decide it should be washed.

On my way to the laundry (it's just a closet in the dining room space between the kitchen and living room), I find an exceptionally large spider has chosen to die in front of my washing machine.

By this time, the CD I picked is barely through the intro and I've already careened off-course into the completely wrong room. I'm supposed to clean the living room, not vacuum the laundry closet, but here I am with the Dirt Devil anyway, extra-long tube extended as far as it will go so that I can remain a safe 4 feet from the carcass (it makes audible rattling sounds and I can feel it clatter through my hand as it vanishes up the pipe, which is revolting).

Since I've already got the vacuum out, may as well tidy up the rest of the room. I go around every crack and crevice in the dining room, then the kitchen, using my vacuum rather than suffer the indignity of sweeping. Let's face it, sweeping sucks, and brooms are gross.

Holstering the tube, I see the toaster and a couple boxes of tea are taking up valuable real estate on my counter. I don't even eat that much toast, let alone drink tea. What am I, some kinda highfalutin' whatchamajig? Holy crap there is a lot of dead toast crumbs in this thing. Soon there's crumbs all over the counter, the sink, and the freshly-vacuumed floor, but the toaster looks pretty good huh? Aw yeah!

So I put the toaster in the cabinet and vacuum again. I want to relocate the tea, but where... oh, I'll put it up on the baker's rack! ...which is dirty, but whatever. I clean it off and decide that the tea doesn't look nice enough to go there, so instead I cram it all in a ziploc bag and open the corner cupboard to find...

Old medicine! Well THAT isn't worth a damn, is it? Expires March 2005? Oh no no no. All of that goes right into the trashcan, and I can finally put the bag of tea on my new clean shelf. Yay! But now I'm hungry. I should make dinner now, let's chop up some onions and some celery and some carrots and put them in a pot and play video games and draw a picture and wash my hands 16 times because I keep forgetting to do messy stuff all at once so I don't have to wash up after every single one.

AFTER dinner and all of that stuff is done, I finally remember that I was going to do laundry but it's getting kinda late so I should probably wash some clothes for Ethan to wear to school tomorrow instead before I wash his icky old blanket and he should really take a shower pretty soon before it's bedtime and he has to stay up late just so he can hose off the skunkiness of a weekend before I send him back to his teacher and that's what it's like to have ADD the end.

Here's some pictures!

This is my brother's girlfriend. She is pretty awesome. She also looks exactly like this IRL.

A friend requested a doodle for his real self, so I made this. I like how it looks in black & white. :)

Been working on some Libby and Fenniel cartoons so I can try my hand at making a comic. I think they look pretty adorable, if I do say so myself. Fenn is channeling his inner Peanut in this one, I think.

My mom FINALLY decided to start a recipe blog (I made her this doodle to put on it), and I'm very proud of how many posts she's made. She ain't no slacker!

I finally figured out how to use layers in Gimp, so I was able to color something without it being like torture. Yay!

Keltyr is evil. I don't know what else to say. Viva la turtleneck of doom!

A watersprite.

Here is a sketch I made for Ghaar. He ended up with Mel Gibson hair, eww! I don't know if I like how the coloring came out, but I do love the guild symbol on his tabard. You can see it whole here.

[RP] Vacation! Part 4 [PG-13 for VIOLENCE!]

Ysani moved even faster now that she was on the firmly-packed earth of the jungle trail, and soon she was out of sight along the meandering path. Hammaryn stomped up the trail behind her. "Ysani! Don't run ahead like that." There was no answer. "Ysani?" Hammaryn started running up the trail, ditching her sandals along the path. Eventually the trail opened up into a small clearing.

"Check it out! There's a cave over here!" Ysani called out from the mouth of said cave, one hand on the stone as she peered into the darkness beyond. Her voice echoed off the mossy limestone walls and made her laugh. A chorus of giggles bubbled back at her as she started to head inside. "Awesome."

"Be careful!" Hammaryn yelled, stumbling up the path to Ysani. "You don't know what could be in there." She reached the top of the path and promptly grabbed Ysani by the ponytail, yanking her back from the cave mouth and halting her launch directly into the unknown.

"HRRK," went Ysani.

Hammaryn put her hands on her hips. "Ysani, if you ever run off like that again, by the Light I will..." She was almost visibly fuming. "Something terrible could have happened to you! We're on a strange island in the middle of nowhere, you can't just go wandering off into random caves!"

Ysani's head drooped and she toed the dirt with a glum expression on her face. "Yes, ma'am."

"Now let's head back down to the beach."

"Awww, c'mon. It could be a really neat cave, and it doesn't smell like there've been animals in it or anything. If it's clear we could set up a camp here and make a bonfire tonight." Ysani smiled at Hammaryn and tugged on her sleeve. "C'mon c'mon!"

Hammaryn's lip turned up in what looked like a snarl. She took a very large swig from her bottle of rum. "Fine."

"Yay!" Ysani dropped her stick and actually clapped, utterly delighted. "Do you wanna go first, or should I?"

"I'll go first. You stay right here. DON'T. MOVE." Hammaryn glared at Ysani for emphasis, set her almost empty bottle of rum on the ground, and staggered off into the cave. She reached a hand out along the wall, taking small steps down into the darkness. "Ysani, I can't see a thing in here," she called back. She touched something wet on the cave wall. "Disgusting!"

"Is it clean? I mean if it's got mold or whatever in it we obviously shouldn't be hanging out here but..."

A glint of light flashed in the darkness ahead of Hammaryn. "Well, this is kind of interesting. Looks like there might be crystals in here or something. Stalagmites...whatever they're called." She tip toed a few feet further, and could see over a bend in the path an entire room that appeared to be full of the shiny things. "Ysani, you're gonna like this." There was silence. "Ysani? Damnit, I told you not to move!" She turned back around, going back up and out of the cave slightly faster than she had made her way in. "Ysani!"

The afternoon sun was dazzling and it blinded Hammaryn as she stomped out of the cave to look for her errant friend. "Ysani? Where the hell are you?" she called out, unable to see as her eyes adjusted to the bright light. She took a step forward... into something unyielding, warm and smelly and that chuckled as she bounced off of it.

"Yarr, lass. Yer late t'the party."

* * * * *

The scruffy man's language was foreign to Hammaryn's ears, but his tone was pretty clear: he was awfully sure of himself, and he was up to no good. He snatched her wrist as she blinked the sun out of her eyes and began to pull her out of the cave toward the clearing, where two other pirates stood over Ysani's trussed body, leering at the brunette their boss was attempting to haul over to them. One of the men was squat and burly, the other tall and wiry, and all three were armed in some fashion, with daggers, swords or crude maces hanging from their belts.

Ysani looked up at Hammaryn, eyes wide and apologetic. There was a dirty rag stuffed in her mouth, but she tried to talk anyway. It almost sounded sorta like a muffled 'oops'.

Hammaryn scowled and yanked her wrist out of the man's grasp. He pulled a sword from the sheath at his side, a notched and extremely dirty weapon hardly fit for chopping vines, let alone fierce combat. Hammaryn held up her index finger. "One moment." The scruffy man raised an eyebrow in amusement, humoring her. Hammaryn bent down slowly, grabbing the almost empty bottom of rum she'd set down near the cave entrance. She raised it to her lips and chugged until it was empty. The tip of the ruffian's sword dropped to the ground as he let out a loud belly laugh. His cronies followed suit. Hammaryn smiled as nice as could be.

In the next instant, she brought the rum bottle up over her head and smashed it on the scruffy man's head. Shards of glass sprayed out from the point of impact, and she backhanded him in the face with the remains of the bottle. Dark gashes appeared all over his face and he screamed in rage, dropping his dirty sword on the ground. Hammaryn hurled the broken bottle at the squat and burly man, where it smacked him in the stomach, knocking the wind out of him. She bent down, grabbed the sword and assumed a fighting stance. "Come on, fuckers. Let's do this."

The bleeding man howled and blindly swung at her as the others began to shout and come to his aid. There was no way in hell they were about to get beaten up by a girl who thought she could swing a weapon. She ducked out of the way of his fist, wrapped her hands around the sword's leather-wrapped hilt, and hit him in the back with it. He fell face-first onto the ground, groaning and clutching his side. Hammaryn reared back and kicked him in the ribs, the top of her foot connecting solidly with his chest. There was a sickening crunch. "Who's pretty now?!"

Hammaryn saw a long shadow fall over the scruffy man's body, and she whirled around to find herself face to face with the gangly pirate. He snickered and twirled a dagger, drawling something in common-speech that Hammaryn was fairly sure meant he felt he would fare much, much better than his groaning companion. Hammaryn backed up, stepping neatly over the scruffy man's body. The tall and wiry man was over his comrade with a lightning-quick step, closing the gap between them. She brought up the leader's sword and swung it into his side, but it narrowly missed and tore through his shirt instead. The tall man laughed and lunged with his dagger.

Easily dodging the blow, Hammaryn raised her sword, hilt up, and sunk the blade deep into his left foot, pinning him to the ground. He howled and lost his balance, falling onto the scruffy man, who was still clutching his torso and moaning loudly.

Hammaryn twisted the sword as she jerked it out of his foot. Blood welled up from the gaping hole, and he howled in anguish, grasping his wounded limb with both hands. The dirt crackled as the searing power of the Light scorched the ground beneath her and engulfed her victims. Breathing heavily, Hammaryn scanned the scene. The short man had backed off at the first sign of blood and was attempting to make a getaway. She glared at him. "Don't you even DARE try to run away from me," she screamed. Kicking the tall man in the head, she picked up his dagger and hurled it into the bushes. He sagged over the scruffy man, unconscious.

The squat pirate didn't bother to look behind him as he tore down the path to try and escape the psycho brunette. Hammaryn dashed after him, snatching a dead branch as she ran, cracking it right off the tree. The sword in her other hand trailed blood down the path behind her. He was barely ten feet in front of her now, and Hammaryn paused on the path, flinging the tree limb at him. It hit the back of his head with a resounding thunk and he fell forward onto the sand. Hammaryn jogged up to him, and bent down to roll him onto his back. She wanted him to see her, see her damn well. He blinked stupidly up at her, attempting to shield his eyes from the glaring sun with one hand.

"You're too slow, you stupid son of a bitch."

Standing up, Hammaryn planted one foot squarely on his chest and plunged the sword into his right shoulder. He screamed in agony. She yanked it out and a gout of blood sprayed over them both. "Now you can run away." She spat in his face, and jogged back up the path to Ysani, sweaty and covered in blood that wasn't hers.

* * * * *

The redhead had inched her way toward the incapacitated men and was in the process of sawing through her bonds with a hunk of glass from Hammar's shattered rum bottle. For all their battle incompetence, they could could sure tie a mean knot, and her fingers were twisted behind her back at the most awkward angle imaginable as she hacked at the tough rope fibers. As Hammaryn walked up, one of the men twitched and Ysani delivered a kick to his belly with both feet, which were still bound together at the ankle. Her heels drove into his soft abdomen and he rolled away, heaving and whimpering.

Hammaryn ran up to Ysani and knelt down behind her. "Hold still, I'll get these off. Hold your hands as far apart as they'll go." Hammaryn sawed through the ropes in three quick strokes. Ysani yanked the gag out of her mouth and spit into the dirt, shook her half-numb hands and started to rub at her wrists. She looked up at her friend with an expression of awe and delight.

"That was amazing! Holy crap!"

Hammaryn got to her feet, flinging the bloody sword to the ground. A scowl spread across her face. "Dammit Ysani, what the hell is your problem?! We are soldiers of the Sin'dorei, you should never let anyone sneak up on you like that!"

Ysani picked up the discarded sword and used it to cut the ropes tied around her ankles, then got to her feet and launched forward to give Hammaryn a huge, crushing hug. The brunette staggered back two full paces with the force of it. "Thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou," said Ysani.

Hammaryn blinked, holding her arms out at her sides, completely stunned by the display of affection. "Ysani. It's fine. We'll just...I don't know, we can kill them or let them run off. I think they're scared, you're safe." She took a deep breath. "Please stop touching me."

Ysani immediately relinquished her hold on the other girl and grinned cheerfully up at her. "Seriously, I was cheering for you the whole time. You're the best." She looked down at the heap of struggling bodies and pulled her bathing suit out of her crack. "We should probably just leave them. They'll think twice about attacking poor defenseless girls after all that, I imagine."

"They deserve worse than that." Hammaryn's eyes burned. "We should kill them."

Ysani peered at the fallen swashbucklers. They whimpered with fear, unable to understand the girls and their elven speech. "I dunno. I think they just took the worst beating of their lives, and they're going to be stuck out here licking their wounds for weeks. Plus you know what they say, the Light loves forgiveness."

Hammaryn sighed, clearly disappointed that she wouldn't be allowed to deliver ULTIMATE JUSTICE. "Yes. Yes it does. Fine. We will leave them."

Ysani patted Hammar's arm and wandered over to the cave, where her bag sat in an untidy heap next to the abandoned walking stick. Scooping it up, she hung it over her shoulder and beckoned for Hammaryn to join her where the footpath met the clearing. "Let's head back. I'll buy you another drink, and a sandwich. I'm so hungry I could eat a horse."

[RP] Vacation! Part 3

"Pssst. Hammaryn. Sweetie. Wake up, it's time to flip over or you're gonna be crispier than a plate of bacon at a Fabrio brunch." Ysani nudged the other girl's arm, already turned with her watermelon-printed butt pointed up to the sky.

Hammaryn lifted her head up, eyes groggy from sleep. She wiped a faint trail of drool from the left side of her face. "Ysani? Where -" Her eyes snapped all the way open. "I didn't talk in my sleep, did I?"

"Nope. And even if you did, I wouldn't have noticed. I was communing too hard. Now roll onto your tummy, you've got a bit more meditation to do before we take a break."

Hammaryn slowly turned herself over onto her stomach. This time, she was definitely going to concentrate on meditating. She rested her head on her arms, taking in a deep breath through her nose. Her head immediately started to loll to the side.

Within minutes, or so it seemed, Ysani was poking at her with one bare toe, a cold drink in each hand. "Okay, sleepyhead. Time to cool off! We've had about all the Light we can handle for the moment."

Hammaryn sat up, rubbing at her eyes. "How long did I sleep?"

The redhead pushed a drink into Hammaryn's hand and smiled. "I guess it's just after noon? I think... I never was very good at reading the time." She turned toward the sea and took a deep breath of crisp, salty air. "C'mon, we'll drink this in the water."

Hammaryn took a large swig of the drink. "We'll get wet."

Ysani laughed as she tromped lazily to the surf, downing copious amounts of Booty Bay's finest affordable rum directly from the bottle. "That's the idea, yeah."

Hammaryn snorted, tipped her head back and took another enormous swig of her drink. "Suppose I ought to bathe before I go home anyways." She jogged down to the water.

* * * * *

The water was clear, blue and cool against Ysani's shins. She held her bottle of juice-sweetened rum by the neck and stared out over the water, shading her eyes against the blinding afternoon light. "Check it out, Hammaryn. There's Monkey Island."

Hammaryn took another swig of rum, swishing it around to see how much was left. "There's what?"

"Monkey Island! Well, maybe it's Pirate Island. Or Treasure Island. I've never gone out there to check which is on it, but it seemed like monkeys was the most likely, you know?" Ysani pointed out toward a dark smear on the horizon.

Hammaryn stared at Ysani from under lowered eyebrows. "We don't have any weapons on us."

"Mehhh. How bad could it be? We're tough chicks. Bring your bottle with you, you can smash the bottom off it if we need a weapon. And we'll bring a stick." Ysani paused, then turned to her friend and grinned. "I'm sure the Light will protect us!" Before Hammaryn could respond, the redhead was already halfway back to their spot on the beach, draining the rest of her drink and tossing the empty bottle in a shoulderbag.

Hammaryn remained in her spot, firmly rooted at the base of the water. "I don't like this."

Ysani's voice carried over the salty ocean breeze. "It'll be fine!" She stuffed a hunk of driftwood into her pack, and two full bottles of booze. The weathered stick didn't come close to fitting inside the bag so she pulled it back out and used it as a walking stick.

Hammaryn sighed loudly and reluctantly began to follow Ysani. They started out into the sea and swam for the horizon, the bikini-clad girl trailing her pack behind her.

* * * * *

"Holy crap, did you see that?" Ysani took a swig from what she thought might be her fourth bottle of booze and blinked several times, staggered to a nearby tree and pointed drunkenly into the undergrowth. "Maybe they should call it Panther Island!"

Hammaryn glanced over at the bushes. "It's just a cat, Ysani."

Ysani crouched down, bracing herself against the overgrown palm's trunk and peering into the brush. "No really, I think it's a for-real panther! Neat! ...Where'd it go." Standing, she picked her suit out of her crack and took another drink.

Hammaryn took a large swig from her bottle of rum. "I'm still not sure why we came here. I don't see any pirates or treasure or monkeys. And we're not communing with the Light."

"Well we did a lot of communing already! I feel warm all over, don't you?" She pushed through the dense jungle foliage and disappeared.

"Ysani." Hammaryn's voice rose in volume. "Where the hell are you going?" There was no response, just the sound of Ysani crashing haphazardly through the brush. She growled and whacked down a branch in front of her with a frown, and followed Ysani into the bushes. "You shouldn't go off by yourself."

"I'm not by myself, I have you!" Ysani called back over her shoulder. "Oh hey, I found a path."

Hammaryn's voice yelled back. "Why didn't you tell me there was a damn path!"

"I didn't know! Ow." When Hammaryn emerged onto the forest trail, Ysani was rubbing at a thin red gash just above her elbow. "I caught a thorn or something."

Hammaryn slapped a hand over Ysani's elbow and grumpily mumbled something. She scowled and mumbled the word again, and the cut healed. "We need to be careful."

The redhead stretched her arm up to try and look at her elbow. "Yeah! There are panthers and stuff." She rubbed again at the sore spot on her arm. "Your healing kinda stings a little."

"You'll be fine, it was just a tiny cut." Hammaryn set her bottle of rum on the ground in front of her, and put her hands over her hips. She stared into the bushes just over Ysani's shoulder. "Do you hear something?"

"I'm pretty sure we've been loud enough to scare away anything that lives within five miles of here." Ysani pulled her bikini out of her crack and polished off her drink, peering through her sunglasses before pushing them up onto her head. There wasn't nearly as much light here, even just a dozen yards into the jungle. Using her driftwood as a walking stick, she started up the path that seemed to lead straight toward the center of the humid jungle island, watching the canopy above for signs of the loud tropical birds that called out all around them. Hammaryn picked up her bottle and started up the path behind her, quickening her pace to catch up.

Maybe it was the surf, or the booze, or both; either way, neither girl noticed the faint rustling sounds behind them.

[RP] Vacation! Part 2

Roughly fifteen minutes later, Ysani returned with a double armload of bounty. It was probably wise not to ask where she'd kept her money for such purchases. "Open up, I'm loaded down!" she sang out, a cold mug dripping moisture in each hand and two thick towels tucked under her arms. There was a pair of cheap, hot pink leather sandals under there somewhere, too. Just the barest hint of one sole poked out from behind the towels.

Hammaryn warily accepted a drink from Ysani, and took a sip. She tilted her head to the side, then smiled. "That's actually pretty good."

"Yeah! They make the best drinks, if you know what to ask for. That's an Alcaz Island iced tea." She took a sip and peered into the frosty glass. "...I'm pretty sure there's not actually any tea in it."

Hammaryn shrugged and downed a large gulp. "Tastes like tea." She got up from the bed, and the sarong on her waist almost slipped off. "Ysani. What are these clothes?"

"They're beach clothes. Lightweight, comfy... they'll help keep you cool. And they dry fast if you get 'em wet. They're, um, really good for meditating and prayers, too. Because of how comfortable they are. Yeah." Ysani grabbed the ends of Hammaryn's sarong and untied them, re-knotting them just above her hip, yanking sharply to make sure it wouldn't slip. "There. Are you ready for another drink?"

Hammaryn barely paid attention to what Ysani was doing with her sarong, taking another large chug of her drink.

"I'll take that as a yes." The redhead pulled a loose shirt on over her teeny suit and dropped the pink sandals on the floor in front of Hammaryn. "Put those on, and drink this potion. It'll keep you from getting a sunburn."

Hammaryn slipped the hot pink sandals on, and pointed at the potion in Ysani's hand. "Is this for our communal with the Light?"

Ysani shook her head. "Not really. Like the comfy clothes, it's just something to protect us from the elements while we do our thing. Just like you'd dress warm and cover your face in Northrend, you know?" She opened the tiny vial and tipped it into Hammaryn's drink.

Hammaryn downed the contents of the vial and the rest of her drink in one gulp. She hiccuped, covered her mouth, then frowned.

"What's wrong?" Ysani smiled and put her arm around Hammy's shoulder, guiding her toward the door and grabbing her towels and key with her free hand.

"Tastes funny. Are you sure I need this?"

"Yep! Let's go!" The door slammed behind them, no doubt pissing off any number of inn patrons sleeping off the liquor of the previous evening. The day was officially theirs.

* * * * *

The clear blue water lapped on the shore of the beach. Ysani had picked the best one in all of Stranglethorn; it was peaceful and quiet, with a nice breeze, a long shore filled with white sand, and a secret.

"C'mon, we gotta get there before someone else finds our spot!" The girl could move, and her deep red hair bounced behind her as she rocketed along the slippery, dry sand in her green sandals at a pace that was just shy of a run.

Hammaryn trudged behind her, her flip flops coming off her feet for at least the twentieth time. "I'm trying, but I don't know how the hell you walk in these damn things!" She kicked one a good ways into the distance, grumbling under her breath. "I don't need shoes."

Ysani made a quick detour to fetch the sandal and regrouped, holding out her hand for the offending shoe's mate. "You'll need these later, I'll just carry 'em for you. It helps if you clench your toes!" Then she was off like a shot again, making a beeline for what was slowly becoming identifiable as a cove nestled between two craggy hunks of wind-worn white stone. Scraggy bushes and beach grasses clung to the cliff face, moving slightly in the breeze. Ysani dropped her stuff in a pile under a cluster of stunted palms.

Hammaryn mumbled a string of epithets directed at her shoes as she followed Ysani down to the palms. "Stupid shoes. I should have brought the ones Alanth gave me."

Meanwhile, Ysani shook out their towels and spread them out in the sun, periodically pausing to pull her bathing suit out of her butt, for the hundredth time. Their ice-bucket sat under the trees, slowly melting around their cache of booze. Hammaryn's eyes traveled over to Ysani's hands. "For Light's sake, why didn't you just bring two of these ridiculous skirts?"

Ysani stopped her site preparations for a moment and shaded her eyes, looking over at her friend. "Why?"

"You've been messing with that...piece of fabric all day."

"Well, you try keeping these things steady when you keep running and stooping and bending and--there! All done. Now we can start our meditations!" The redhead stood for a moment to survey her handiwork, hands on her bare hips, then dropped down onto the sunniest towel and sprawled out, sunglasses reflecting the strong midmorning sun.

"And you're sure we don't need books for this?" Hammaryn folded her arms over her chest, and eyed the towels dubiously.

"Mmhmmm. Just lie down like this and get comfortable."

Hammaryn sighed, and lowered herself slowly onto the towel. "How long does this usually take?"

Ysani sighed too, only hers was of a much more dreamy variety. "Until you can't bear it anymore. Now close your eyes and take nice, slow breaths. You can say your prayers in your head if you like, or you can just think about how warm the Light is, or you can think about nothing at all and let the Light just flow right on through you. Or whatever."

Hammaryn took a deep breath and closed her eyes. She waited a few seconds, then let it out slowly. Something was poking her in her back. She wiggled, felt underneath the towel with a hand, and found a piece of driftwood. She casually chucked it a few feet into the distance, towards the water. She lay back down on the towel, trying to focus on her breath. Except she could feel the sun through her eyelids. She rolled over, groping for the sunglasses Ysani had purchased for her. She rummaged through their things for a minute, finally finding them, and put them on her face with a satisfied smile. Now she was ready to commune with the Light. Except she felt something on her leg. Hammaryn sat bolt upright, finding and squashing a small bug crawling on her ankle with smack from her open palm. Now she was ready to lie down again. Deep breaths; time for some quality meditation.

After a few minutes, Ysani was certain she could hear the faint sound of snoring from the towel next to her. She smiled up at the perfect blue sky, eyes closed, and settled more firmly into the soft sand under her towel.

Things were going great.