Ye've Got a Nice Arse [PG-13]

Not too long after I revived her, Skulley went to the Pig & Whistle for a bit of whiskey and smoke and happened across one Tarquin ap Danwyrith. She spent the rest of the evening staring at his finely-sculpted man-tush in a most unsubtle fashion, and later that week when my song-writing itch flared up (I know, I know, they make a cream for that) I thought it would be fun to write a bawdy little bar-song from Skulley's point of view.

Yes, there's a melody. There's also a half-assed harmony, and my brother is actually working on a bit of music to go along with it. I can't wait till I hear what he makes of it.

It's worth mentioning that Skullz, when amusing herself, likes to ham up her accent. The harder it is to understand her, the more apt her eyes to sparkle and her smoke-tinged laugh to ring out, drawing attention like as not.

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Ye've got a nice arse so let's do it

We'll go back t'my place an' discuss it

I've got whiskey an' beer and a cup a' good cheer-O

Th' drinkin's on me

Here's hopin' that you will be too.

Ye've spurned me advances, an' yes, that's a first

An' if y'don't love me, methinks I may burst

That's a lie, but I want ye ta give me a chance

I jus' want a fuck, not romance.

Ye've got a nice arse so let's do it

We'll go back t'my place an' discuss it

I've got whiskey an' beer and a cup a' good cheer-O

Th' drinkin's on me

Here's hopin' that you will be too.

Just give th'sign, cully; I'll sit in yer lap

Ye've all a' me sweetness an' graces on tap

An' nivver a lass a' sich discernin' taste

'As ever took roost on yer face.

Ye've got a nice arse so let's do it

We'll go back t'my place an' discuss it

I've got whiskey an' beer and a cup a' good cheer-O

Th' drinkin's on me

Here's hopin' that you will be too.

Now if yer ear's closed ta such bawdy ol' verse

Per'aps I've misjudged ye, ye'll hate me or worse;

If tryin' ta bed ya requires a dance

I'll do it ta get in yer pants.

Ye've got a nice arse so let's do it

We'll go back t'my place an' discuss it

I've got whiskey an' beer and a cup a' good cheer-O

Th' drinkin's on me

Here's hopin' that you will be too.

I'm hopin' that you will be too.